Friday, July 10, 2009

My own worst enemy

I had a bit of a breakdown last night. Yes,
it's true. I almost gave up. I almost caved.
I took photos of myself after two weeks of
P90X, because someone asked if I had any
before and after shots. I hate the before I
have, and the current isn't much better. I
was so ashamed to even post it, because to me
it doesn't look like I have done anything. Yes,
maybe my stomach is a bit flatter, but when I
looked at the photo I saw nothing but a fat girl.

Yes, a fat girl.

I got so upset, thought to myself: how can I be
a fitness coach when I don't even look like I
work out?

How am I supposed to inspire anyone?

I blogged on another site, just to vent and get it
out of me. My lovely friends there supported me,
pointed out that is what makes me a good coach,
because I can relate to people's struggles. I
hadn't thought of it that way. I can relate.

I know what it is like to struggle with weight loss. I
know what it is like to exercise every day, and sweat.
Sweat like nothing before, and see no weight loss at all.

The great thing is, my friends also pointed out that it
looked like my programs were working for me. That is
what killed me. She could see the transformation, but
I couldn't.

So, remember, please be kind to yourself. You may not see
what others see, but your work will pay off. I promise.
We are our own worst enemy, so when you look at yourself,
when you weight yourself, when you work out, be kind and
remember you are doing this to enhance a person who is
already beautiful inside and out.

Regardless, you are a beautiful person. I can see it,
even now. I see it.

I hope you do too.

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